Just numbers, Mom!

The week that has been is payback time for school children's (and their parents' support -- time, energy and money ;-) efforts to cope with numerous academic and non-academic demands. And my girls are no way different from all other kids; especially Bea who already has that drive (and pride) to excel in class. While Gaby on the other hand just shrugged her shoulders and said: "Just numbers, Mom!"

As Bea is trying to join all other extra-curriculars (for the sake of both grades and enjoyment), juggling her out-of-acads activities with class work, I can see how determined she is to do good, even better than how she did in the past years. Grade 6 as she claims is her "defining moment". Bea is into Math, Journalism, Visual Arts, Drum and Lyre, Kumon and her "defining moment" (can't say what this is, just yet;-)

While Gaby in her full-blast energy is into playing -- Pinypon and reading books. She also has Kumon and joined too the Thought Master's Guild and Dream Club (performing arts), but unlike her Ate who has an everyday training that covers Saturdays, too, her extra workload (training) is just once a month.

Then her words came. I was truly caught off guard by her thoughts. And let me fully quote: "Ate, relax. You're so skinny na. Enjoy. Grades are just numbers."

As a Mom, sometimes a pushy Mom at that, where sometimes I can't avoid making my girls an extension of my own academic performance (pressure that they too excel like I did -- not to brag;-). I forget that they too have their own person. That my girls are not there to massage my ego as a parent but they are gifts and in actuality, like my brother said: They are even who I am not. Because reality check, they are way more talented than I am or their father is. 

And so I declare, that even when sometimes, we parents (doting Moms) say we know better than our children, or we keep pushing them to do what we deem they should, stop right there... for a while and listen to what our children have to say of what they think, what they want, what they need and what makes them happy. It is only on these times that we do so, that we realize, our children has a lot to say, a lot to share and from these "a whole lot" that we learn much.

Grades are just numbers. They don't define our children. They don't define our parenting. What makes us and makes them is the smile reflected in their eyes. Their innocent laughter. Their witty comments. Their youthful energy to explore their own giftedness -- not dictated by us or other people's expectations.

Let our children be who they want them to be, as God planned them to be. They should not be limited by numbers. For the beauty and magic of this life is never quantified but qualified by colors and shapes, of happiness and love -- immeasurable... undefinable.

A Million Little Pieces of Hope, Love and Passion for Life

Orange and pink streaks sail across the blue of the sky, large birds silhouette themselves against the red of the rising sun, clouds inch their way toward me.


These are such poetic lines from James Frey. His book "A Million Little Pieces" is an account of his life in the rehabilitation center. And this is what I'm currently reading.


There were all sorts of new things to find. Grass and dirt and holes and tiny bugs – each fascinated him. But nothing satisfied him.


And these are striking lines from “Hope for the Flowers” by Trina Paulos which I just read (side by side with Harry Potter 6… of course before watching the movie, which of course did not satisfy me – anyway, that’s another story to tell, which I know you could certainly relate to).

Anyway, Frey’s novel, particularly its title has inspired me to write again... I mean to blog again. But what is more to this passion for writing are the things I’ve learned from Stripe and Yellow, Paulos’ main characters in her short story.

It has been months since I last posted an entry in any of my blogsites. What kept me busy? I think those times... these times are the days I am putting the million little pieces of my dreams... of my life together. Getting into that big climb like Stripe and Yellow and finding in the end what really satisfies me and gives me so much hope and love and passion for life.

Yes! I am in the prime of building a legacy not just for my family – my kids to follow, but for more kids that truly matters… as Jesus has once said, “Let the little ones come to me.”

Let me count the ways:

1. I was about to finish my MA in Guidance and Counseling in 2005 when an Aunt fed me with the great (and tempting) “American Dream”.

2. While finishing my MA degree, I took up units in Special Education and Certificate in Teaching in an Open University System.

3. After graduation, I got pregnant with Gaby and found myself incapable of working and going to school. Thank God, UP then offered a Certificate in Caring for the Special Child through the Interactive Virtual Learning Experience. I had homeschooling.

4. Upon giving birth, I pushed through with my MA in SPED. And finished my education units alongside it.

5. After having my diploma, I forwarded my application as SPED teacher to one of the agencies in Manila. And I think, one of the best agencies deploying Filipino teachers to the US of A.

6. 2008 was a grand year for me in the field of test-taking. April, I passed the Licensure Exam for Teachers. August, I passed the Licensure Exam for Guidance Counselors.

7. 2009 started out with more stress. January, I took up Praxis 2, the state board for SPED teachers and passed once again.

8. February, I was interviewed. Then a long wait for the result followed.

9. March, I have to take another state board, Praxis 1, for General Education. Once more, I proved to have much luck in board examinations. I passed.

10. April, I resigned from work. But was re-hired until July as a Researcher for Student Services and Curriculum Development.

11. June, I received the news that I passed the interview.

12. I was encouraged to enroll ASAP for a special Reading course at St. Joseph College, Quezon City. The course was for two months. Every weekends. Stressful, eh!? Saturday mornings I board the bus early just in time for my 2 PM class. We end up at 7 PM. Sundays, we start at 9 AM until 6 PM. Then I go straight to the bus terminal and arrive home at 12 midnight or early dawn. And after a four-hour sleep, off I go to work.

13. July, we had a not so fortunate news. Our petitioning school lacks funds to fly us all together in August. We will go by batch, so they say. Now, there are five (should I say the “lucky” ones) being processed. Hopefully for September deployment.

14. Still July, I don’t know if I will feel frustrated or happy. Frustrated because by August, I will be jobless. I thought like Stripe and Yellow, I was climbing with a group where I would be led to nowhere.

15. Mid July, I felt happier because I realized, I wasn’t ready yet to leave my kids and husband (for more or less six months). I was more thankful that I get to spend more time with them. Imagine if I were to be deployed in August? My weekend classes ended in July 26 and target deployment is first week of August, how would in the world I spend time with my family?

16. Towards end of July, I had wonderful plans in mind. I got so busy (with Arleen) in looking for a perfect spot for my long-time dream – a school. But for now, my passion for teaching kids (putting up a school) is limited to a Reading Enrichment Program for Grade 1 pupils and children with special needs.

17. August, I formally opened my Reading Resource Center. Simple. Just a room with two monobloc tables and six monobloc chairs, rubber mats, a small white board, a flip chart, and a few good books to read.

18. But there is more to this that I’m busy about. 8 AM to 10 AM, I shadow teach in a grade 1 class for a pupil with ADHD accompanied with an oppositional and impulsive behavior. After which, I visit two other kids with autism. And yet another kid with ADHD. And help a team of professionals in designing an IEP for a child with Emotional Impairment who is homeschooling.

19. Before leaving the school at 12 noon, I see to it that I have counseled around four students in the high school department.

20. At 12:30 to 2:30 PM, I continue with my work as a Researcher.

21. At 3 PM, I have to be in my center to prepare things for my pupils. I currently have seven grade 1 pupils and a grade 3 pupil with specific Learning Disability. I also work with a Mom in developing a Behavior Managament Plan for her child with ADHD. I end up at 6 PM.

22. These three responsibilities I so carefully squeezed in a day transpire in three separate locations, too. So you can just imagine what a mess I now look like. Yeah! Maybe I am all stressed out but I am happy and contented.

23. If you may ask of the monetary satisfaction, it is not such a good source of income given the tiresome impact of juggling many responsibilities a time. But one thing I am sure of, at the end of the day, before I close my eyes at night, there are more things I am thankful for.

24. First question: “Would I still pursue my great American Dream?”

My answer, “Yes I will!”

25. Last question: “What for?”

My answer, “To bring to the next level my one true dream – come home to my country and put up a school for children with special needs, considering all the therapies they need. And have a guidance and counseling, testing and play therapy center for kids and their families.”



Her feelers quivered and Stripe knew she was speaking. He couldn’t make out words. Then slowly, he seemed to understand… Somehow he knew what to do. Stripe climbed again.

It got darker and darker and he was afraid. He felt he has to let go of everything…

… Until one day …

CABAnata 20: I am a Licensed TEACHER

May 2, 2008
LET Exam Results for April 2008 Secondary Level

Roll of Successful Examinees in the
L.E.T. - SECONDARY - All Regions
Held on APRIL 6, 2008
Released on APRIL 30, 2008

Page: 39 of 76
Seq. No. N a m e

1851 JOSE, JOANNE PAGLIAWAN
1852 JOSEF, FLORDECILA ABORDO
1853 JOSUE, MARY JOCELYN BALANGUE
1854 JOVEN, JIECEBEL BELEÑA
1855 JOVENAL, LUDY BAGINDA
1856 JOYOHOY, HAZEL MAGLINTE
1857 JUABAN, LOURDES LUPIBA
1858 JUAÑO, LEAH TAGUMPAY
1859 JUBASAN, LAILE REAN ACEBUCHE
1860 JUDAN, RONALD FERNANDEZ
1861 JUEVES, IRENE BANAC
1862 JULIAN, ADORA PACTOL
1863 JULWAHID, ALDING BALADJI
1864 JUMAO-AS, CHARITO GARCIA
1865 JUMAO-AS, DOMINADOR APARILLA
1866 JUMAQUIO, MICHAEL DELA CRUZ
1867 JUMAWAN, APRIL ALEGRIA
1868 JUMAWAN, KAREN MAE OCUM
1869 JUNIO, ROEN MORADOS
1870 JUNTILLA, ANALYN BOOC
1871 JUNTILLA, JOAN MANSUETO
1872 JUNTO, ROCELIO GALIMBA
1873 JUSTINIANI, JEHN PILAPIL
1874 JUSTO, ROMEL OCARIS
1875 JUSTOBA, YURI COPINGCO
1876 JUTBA, KRISTINE AUSEJO
1877 JUTIC, MARY ROSE BARRACA

CABAnata 17: Pondering on the First Friday Mass Sermon

"Mass tomorrow?"

"Can I not just stay in my office to do all the checking of this pile of IQ tests?"

"The kids want to know their scores ASAP. They're around the office every hour from last Thursday when the test was given to them and they're driving me nuts!"

Once again, I mumbled a few more lines. Hoping my wish will be granted.

The following day -- which is today. I arrived late in school. 5 minutes late. My 2nd time of being late this week.

"Aaarghhh!"

"Beating the deadline and yet I am always late."

"Hell! They can't blame me. I am supposed to go home at 4:30 pm but I work my butt out until 6:00 pm."

"I am supposed to be reviewing for the board exam for Counselors this August and finishing my thesis but I bring home a bunch of paperworks for the school's accreditation."

"Duh! I am supposed to be out of here but I chose not to."

All these ran through my mind in a second.

"So you think that gave you all the right to be late and not attend the first Friday mass?" whispered the better side of me.

"Geeeezzzz!"

I was flapping through my ears to drive away the little voices making a good argument in defense of my almost splitting personality, when a student bumped through me...

"Ooooppsss, sorry!"

"That was it? That was all you can say? I am in a hurry with all my worries and sorry is all you can say?"

I thought I was shouting, but I was just staring blank at the kid. Then I gathered myself.

I head on...

"C'mon, Fr. Pati is saying the mass."

Upon hearing the priest's name, I just dumped my bag inside my drawer, combed my hair a bit, checked on my gloss, got my fan and went with the flow of people to the school's covered court where mass is celebrated.

And so the sermon goes...

It was like being transported to that event when I was deciding for my future -- my family's future.

Fr. Pati concluded, "...so to you elected leaders, not just be leaders, be servant leaders and responsible stewards of creation. To the administrators, the teachers, the non-teaching personnel and you dear students, as you re-affirm your commitment of being co-creators of God, let your heart be where the greater need you most."

"Like the little prince taming the fox, anything you tame, is your responsibility. Anything that grows familiar to you is your responsibility..." his words echoing -- travelling through my ear's canal to the message center of my brain, striking the chambers of my heart.

I did not stay for money. I did not stay for comfort. I did not stay for fear of the unknown. I decided to stay because this is where my heart is -- the place where I know the greater need me most.

I decided to stay because I have tamed the world of guidance and counseling to work best for my benefit and the people I work with and the children I work for.

I decided to stay because I have grown familiar with the colorful, yet mysterious world of children with special needs.

Yes, I stayed because one girl was crying in my cubicle last week. She said her mother have grown further away from her.

I stayed because another teenager fell in love and she is so confused with how she feels. Will she give in or not?

I stayed, yet for another girl who sobbed over her sentiments -- telling me her parents don't notice her efforts in dancing and just wanted to sleep and never to wake up.

I stayed because a young man needs me this year to listen to him while his soul is dying -- his very own parents as the criminal.

I decided to stay for a sixteen year old child with autism, who with all the wealth in the world needs an eye to watch over him when he sleeps.

I decided to stay for a nine year old girl who doesn't care how she looks like and reads the alphabet backwards.

I decided to stay for an eight year old boy with ADHD who feels so frustrated he wants to cut his fingers that they stop fidgeting altogether.

I committed myself to stay because I have tamed them. They have grown familiar with my voice, my touch, my scent and even with that little strictness in my aura.

I have accepted the challenge.

I have accepted them.

THEY ARE MY RESPONSIBILITY!

“Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, covering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks. But what we do for them is never wasted.”

Garrison, Keillor, 2000

This was my opening phrase in my acknowledgement page in my thesis... and so I live with it.

Waterlily

floating, freedom to be
loving the water that cleanses what is physical
purifying it in return
symbiosis
the science of co-existing
and the essence of living

More of Life's Simple Pleasures @ Life in Stanzas

Spirulina: Nature's Gift

Spirulina is a blue-green algae. It is a simple, one-celled form of algae that thrives in warm, alkaline fresh-water bodies. The name "spirulina" is derived from the Latin word for "helix" or "spiral"; denoting the physical configuration of the organism when it forms swirling, microscopic strands.

Spirulina is being developed as the "food of the future" because of its amazing ability to synthesize high-quality concentrated food more efficiently than any other algae. Most notably, Spirulina is 65 to 71 percent complete protein, with all essential amino acids in perfect balance. In comparison, beef is only 22 percent protein.

Spirulina has a photosynthetic conversion rate of 8 to 10 percent, compared to only 3 percent in such land-growing plants as soybeans.

In addition, Spirulina is one of the few plant sources of vitamin B12, usually found only in animal tissues. A teaspoon of Spirulina supplies 21/2 times the Recommended Daily Allowance of vitamin B12 and contains over twice the amount of this vitamin found in an equivalent serving of liver.

Spirulina also provides high concentrations of many other nutrients - amino acids, chelated minerals, pigmentations, rhamnose sugars (complex natural plant sugars), trace elements, enzymes - that are in an easily assimilable form.

Even though it is single-celled, Spirulina is relatively large, attaining sizes of 0.5 millimeters in length. This is about 100 times the size of most other algae, which makes some individual Spirulina cells visible to the naked eye. Furthermore, the prolific reproductive capacity of the cells and their proclivity to adhere in colonies makes Spirulina a large and easily gathered plant mass.

The algae are differentiated according to predominating colorations, and are divided into blue-green, green, red and brown. Spirulina is one of the blue-green algae due to the presence of both chlorophyll (green) and phycocyanin (blue) pigments in its cellular structure.

Even though Spirulina is distantly related to the kelp algae, it is not a sea plant. However, the fresh-water ponds and lakes it favors are notably more saline - in the range of 8 to 11 pH than ordinary lakes and cannot sustain any other forms of microorganisms. In addition, Spirulina thrives in very warm waters of 32 to 45 degrees C (approximately 85 to 112 degrees F), and has even survived in temperatures of 60 degrees C (140 degrees F).

Certain desert-adapted species will survive when their pond habitats evaporate in the intense sun, drying to a dormant state on rocks as hot as 70 degrees Centigrade (160 degrees F). In this dormant condition, the naturally blue-green algae turns a frosted white and develops a sweet flavor as its 71 percent protein structure is transformed into polysaccharide sugars by the heat.

Some scientists speculate that the "manna" of the wandering Israelites, which appeared miraculously on rocks following a devastating dry spell and was described as tasting "like wafers made with hone " may have been a form of dried, dormant Spirulina.

This ability of Spirulina to grow in hot and alkaline environments ensures its hygienic status, as no other organisms can survive to pollute the waters in which this algae thrives. Unlike the stereotypical association of microorganisms with "germs" and "scum", Spirulina is in fact one of the cleanest, most naturally sterile foods found in nature.

Its adaptation to heat also assures that Spirulina retains its nutritional value when subject to high temperatures during processing and shelf storage, unlike many plant foods that rapidly deteriorate at high temperatures.

Spirulina is also unusual among algae because it is a "nuclear plant" meaning it is on the developmental cusp between plants and animals. It is considered somewhat above plants because it does not have the hard cellulose membranes characteristic of plant cells, nor does it have a well-defined nucleus. Yet its metabolic system is based on photosynthesis, a process of direct food energy production utilizing sunlight and chlorophyll, which is typical of plant life forms.

In essence, Spirulina straddles that fork in evolutionary development when the plant and animal kingdoms differentiated. Thus it embodies the simplest form of life. In contrast, other algae such as Chlorella have developed the hard indigestible walls characteristic of plants.

The information provided above is intended for educational purposes only. It is not meant to either directly or indirectly give medical advice or prescribe treatment. Unless specifically referenced, the information has not been scientifically validated or approved by any government or regulatory agency. Please consult with your physician or other licensed health care professional for medical diagnosis, prescription, and treatment

The pictures below are actual shots of harvesting spirulina from a basin at GEO Farm, Bayambang, Pangasinan. I had the chance to see personally this algae with wonderful gifts to man yesterday during our educational trip in preparation for all CKC personnel in our thrust of saving Mother Earth by starting an Eco Park in our school.

And this is one of the many gifts of spirulina to man -- especially to aging women.

Hope even without its contribution to beauty as an anti-aging agent, you'll exert some effort to learn more about spirulina and try it yourself. This is not just going back to the basics, but this is more being in communion with nature and living harmoniously with it -- eradicating harmful toxic chemicals in your body.

As Mr. Guevarra said yesterday, "It is only in going back to nature that nature would come back to us."

By the way, this was our lunch yesterday -- red rice, roasted tilapia, "ginataang pakak", fresh salad (leaves and petals with olive oil and mint) served in banana bark, top water and lemon grass tea with muscovado sugar, menthol and vanilla -- all fresh from the farm, no preservatives. Take note: mangoes and other fruits should not serve as your dessert, it has to be eaten before the meal.

A Teacher's Prayer

Loving God, our Father

We thank you for giving us a share

in the teaching ministry of Your Son, Jesus Christ.

Through Your Spirit dwelling in us,

strengthen us to carry out the service of love

with joy, perseverance and dedication.

Help us realize that our work has a place in Your purpose

so that we may go about it

with sense of responsibility and enthusiasm.

When results are disappointing

and we cannot see the expected outcome of our task

help us not to be discouraged;

Give us faith to find meaning in it all.

Father, in our desire for efficiency and competence,

help us to be patient

when things are slow to happen.

Give us an understanding heart

to respond to the cheerful ones,

the lonely and the frightened,

the difficult and the stubborn;

Let us reassure them of Your love,

through our gentleness and kindness.

Thus, by Your love transparent in our person,

may we be Your instruments

drawing our pupils and students into fullness of life,

and may we be their companions and co-missionaries

in transforming this world of love, hope and peace.

AMEN.

This is the prayer by all the Educators during this school year's Closing Program for Grade 6 pupils and Graduation of the IV year students last March 26 and 27, 2008 respectively in the academic institution I belong. I hope that through this prayer, I am able to share a part of my vocation to all of you who happen to drop by my site. For I believe that through the teaching ministry of Christ of which I am a part of, I can, in my own little words and ways make a difference in the lives of others.

To all Batch 2008 Graduates: CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Go... Build Communities of Love Through Servant Leadership!