Choices

When people ask me to define love, I say, "Love is like handing someone a gun, having them point it at your heart, and trusting them to never pull the trigger." (Sponge Bob)

When they ask me why I laugh at my mistakes and even write them with pride in my blogs, I say, "I'm not crazy. I just don't give a damn!" (Daffy Duck)

When one time I was conducting a group activity, a student asked what road sign I love the most, I said, "I like dead end signs. I think they're kind. They at least have the decency to let you know you're going nowhere…" (Bugs Bunny)

And when for the nth time a friend would ask me what do I get from writing, I'm not even sure if there are good old souls out there visiting my site, I just smile and say, "Kung gusto mong maging manunulat, eh di magsulat ka. Simple." (Bob Ong)

And last night when Eva said she wants to quit from her work because nobody believes in her, her boss got mad at her, she doesn't even have friends at her agency, and she's crying like hell, I said, "Either you stay to prove your worth or you quit and just show them you're a loser, you have to strive for your happiness." (MY original)

My CHOICES: I remained believing in love. I continued spicing up my mistakes and rewriting my life, accepting failure but keep on dreaming until words would fade into thin air.

Jul 8, 2008

The Little Prince, Life Space and Book Review

"One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes."

Familiar with the lines?

I'll keep you guessing if you're not. So just read on…

LIFE SPACE.

I have heard a lot of this term in my four years in Psychology. It didn't stop there. The more I encountered these two meaningful words when I went to graduate college. And more of it, I use in my analyses during my counseling sessions. Though I must say, with all honesty, I'm not an expert in uncovering such. Just a little bit!

But what do these two short words mean?

First, let us define life.

Life means, according to my Microsoft Encarta is existence in the physical world. It also refers to the whole duration of one's being able to breath, take in food, adapt to the environment, grow and reproduce. It may also refer to the period during which something continues to function. And it denotes a way of living characteristic of a particular group or individual.

Secondly, let's take a closer look at the meaning of space.

Space refers to the region that lies beyond the Earth's atmosphere, and all that it contains. Thus, it also implies the region, usually of negligible density, between all celestial bodies in the universe. In addition, it can also mean the unbounded three-dimensional expanse in which all matter exists.

Putting both meaning to a more psychological perspective in defining life space, it is the bounded (Not unbounded, you have to take not of that. Because a person's life is ruled by rights where one's rights end as another's rights begin.) expanse in which a person or an individual functions, such that, all his/her personal experiences (exclusively his/hers) and other unique or distinctive characteristics absolute in him/her with all their dynamic make-up influences, controls, motivates and shapes his/her behavior, activities, thoughts, beliefs, philosophies, points of view, feelings, and all other endowment of being human.

Correct me if I am wrong because the meaning I just shared with you came from my own understanding as I get it and as I use it in my everyday practice. Anyway, this is an interactive blog. You can throw shots at me if you wish to. Just be gentle, all right!? I'm quite sensitive you, know. Argh!

But how is this in any way connected in my book review?

Have you read or heard about The Little Prince by Antoine De Saint-Exupery?

Well, this is all about it. I first saw the book from high school but didn't pay attention to even just skim read it. When I was in college, Vanessa, a close friend, mentioned it to me. Saying it is a wonderful book. She was talking about the stars (Well, I presumed she talks about it because she has a fetish on stars. I didn't know it is in any way linked to her Little Prince.) and give remarks on "what-is-essential-is-invisible-to-the-eye" stuff. "Hell, well!", I said, "Whatever!"

I came across it the next time when I watched with my family a Filipino movie where Angel Locsin received an old book from her secret admirer, that is, Richard Guttierez, entitled The Little Prince. Since then, I told myself, "What in the world is with The Little Prince that sensible people like Vanessa and Richard (the actor in his character, well, I don't know in person…) likes the book? What's in the book?" so I thought, I have to have a copy of the book. So after three years of watching the movie, thirteen years away from college, and seventeen years from high school (don't compute my age)… that soon, (Hehehehe!) that I got the chance to have a copy of the book.

Okay, enough for the recollection… let's get to business.

The Little Prince. Life space. "One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes."

First scene: The writer, when he was six, has drawn a boa constrictor which ate a whole elephant. The grown-ups around him laughed at his drawing, saying it wasn't a snake, but a hat. He stopped drawing since then.

Lesson: The simplicity of a child sometimes speaks more of than what adults can. In other words, don't show your drawings to dumb grown-ups!

Second scene: The Little Prince was talking about baobabs, a kind of tree that grows too big for his planet that it can explode his planet into pieces if it is not uprooted upon its recognition that it is a baobab.

Lesson: Any bad habit starts as an exciting little adventure, that when you get to like it, it fits deep into your system like strong roots and it becomes difficult for you to unlearn it. In short, stop experimenting, there is a term called vicarious learning.

Third scene: A little planet occupied by a seemingly monarch who thinks he rules the stars and everything that inhabits his planet, where there is none that he knows of.

Lesson: Grown-ups are sometimes like that, they feel as if they have already mastered everything that they can manipulate everything, including other people. They have forgotten that authority is based first of all upon reason – reason that is morality-based, acceptable in other words, and seeks the good for not just one but for the majority, including both living and non-living things. Just a warning – "These people are dangerous!"

Fourth scene: The Little Prince moved in to the second planet which is inhabited by a very vain man who assumes every other creature is his admirer when the only creature in his planet is himself.

Lesson: Sometimes, I mean, more often that sometimes, man becomes too proud of himself that he forgets the terms "consideration" and "respect". My message, "Get real!"

Fifth scene: The third planet is inhabited by a drunkard who drinks because he feels depressed and ashamed of himself because he drinks too much.

Lesson: Man becomes so filthy. Their smuttiness more often than not is because of their own wrong doing. Simply put it, "Grown-ups are really very, very strange."

Sixth scene: The fourth planet belonged to a businessman who assumes he owns the stars because he thought of owning them first and he can put them in a bank by counting how many stars are there, writing the number in a piece of paper and keeping the paper in his drawer.

Lesson: Argh! A waste of time. Wasted life. Adults usually invest much of their effort doing not so sensible things. And they assume they do it because they are serious people. Oh come on!

Seventh scene: The fifth planet was rather extra small with a lamp and a lamplighter which is too absurd to be there because the sun shines and sets every minute, there is no need for an artificial light.

Lesson: People become so preoccupied with something they don't need. They just wake up one day, there life is almost over, but they haven't done a single act with meaning in their life. In short, "Damn!"

Eighth scene: The sixth planet was ten times bigger than the last. And there lived a geographer who holds a big book and claims that what he does is very important to humanity. But alas! He doesn't even know whether a single ocean or mountain exists in his own planet. He says, such is the work of an explorer. When asked if he too has a record of flowers, he retorted there was none because flowers are ephemeral.

Lesson: People sometimes act as this geographer. We claim we know everything. We even try to challenge the one who created us. But in the end, we can't even prove our own existence, not even the substance of our being present.

Ninth scene: At last, the Little Prince has reached Earth. But regrettably, the first creature he met was a snake. (And by God, we all know what snakes represent here on Earth!) And thus went the conversation:

Little Prince: Good evening.
Snake: Good evening.
Little Prince: What planet have I landed on?
Snake: Earth. In Africa.
Little Prince: And are there no people on Earth?
Snake: It's the desert here. There are no people in the desert. Earth is very big.
Little Prince: It's a little lonely in the desert.
Snake: It's also lonely with people.
Little Prince: You're a funny creature, no thicker than a finger.
Snake: But I'm more powerful than a king's finger.
Little Prince: You're not very powerful. You couldn't travel very far.
Snake: I can take you further than a ship. Anyone I touch, I send back to the land from which he came. But you're innocent, and you come from a star… I feel sorry for you, being so weak in this granite Earth, I can help you, someday, if you grow too homesick for your planet. I can –
Little Prince: Oh, I understand just what you mean, but why do you always speak in riddles?
Snake: I solve them all.

Lesson: Snakes are all around the planet Earth. Beware! They may fit in the shoe of wisdom or lure you with their beauty or may even entice you with exquisite colors, but as I have said, snakes will always be snakes. Keep off the bait!

Tenth scene: The Little Prince came across a blossoming rose garden where he realized her rose was not the only rose in the entire universe as what his rose claims she is. And he said to himself, "she would be very annoyed if she saw this… She would cough terribly and pretend to be dying, to avoid being laughed at. And I'd have to pretend to be nursing her; otherwise, she'd really let herself die in order to humiliate me."

Lesson: Don't be arrogant. Don't be conceited. Don't be egotistic. Don't be haughty. In short… be humble! Did I just enumerate synonymous words? Duh!

Eleventh scene: And now here comes the fox from whom the Little Prince learned that One sees clearly with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.

Lesson: Argh! Don't be stupid! I know that you know what that means.

Twelfth scene: (I'm excited, we're almost there…) And so the Little Prince met with our author, and again, like the snake, back into the desert. "What happened there?", you may ask in equal anticipation, but let me lay this straight… blah… blah… blah… Ooooppssss! What happened? My words spill no more!

Lesson: Don't rely much on strangers. Get a copy of the book! As for that discussion on life space... well, I kinda like to hear from you before I get the dice rolling.

Jul 4, 2008

CABAnata 17: Pondering on the First Friday Mass Sermon

"Mass tomorrow?"







"Can I not just stay in my office to do all the checking of this pile of IQ tests?"







"The kids want to know their scores ASAP. They're around the office every hour from last Thursday when the test was given to them and they're driving me nuts!"







Once again, I mumbled a few more lines. Hoping my wish will be granted.







The following day -- which is today. I arrived late in school. 5 minutes late. My 2nd time of being late this week.







"Aaarghhh!"







"Beating the deadline and yet I am always late."







"Hell! They can't blame me. I am supposed to go home at 4:30 pm but I work my butt out until 6:00 pm."







"I am supposed to be reviewing for the board exam for Counselors this August and finishing my thesis but I bring home a bunch of paperworks for the school's accreditation."







"Duh! I am supposed to be out of here but I chose not to."







All these ran through my mind in a second.







"So you think that gave you all the right to be late and not attend the first Friday mass?" whispered the better side of me.







"Geeeezzzz!"







I was flapping through my ears to drive away the little voices making a good argument in defense of my almost splitting personality, when a student bumped through me...







"Ooooppsss, sorry!"







"That was it? That was all you can say? I am in a hurry with all my worries and sorry is all you can say?"







I thought I was shouting, but I was just staring blank at the kid. Then I gathered myself.







I head on...







"C'mon, Fr. Pati is saying the mass."




Upon hearing the priest's name, I just dumped my bag inside my drawer, combed my hair a bit, checked on my gloss, got my fan and went with the flow of people to the school's covered court where mass is celebrated.




And so the sermon goes...




It was like being transported to that event when I was deciding for my future -- my family's future.




Fr. Pati concluded, "...so to you elected leaders, not just be leaders, be servant leaders and responsible stewards of creation. To the administrators, the teachers, the non-teaching personnel and you dear students, as you re-affirm your commitment of being co-creators of God, let your heart be where the greater need you most."




"Like the little prince taming the fox, anything you tame, is your responsibility. Anything that grows familiar to you is your responsibility..." his words echoing -- travelling through my ear's canal to the message center of my brain, striking the chambers of my heart.




I did not stay for money. I did not stay for comfort. I did not stay for fear of the unknown. I decided to stay because this is where my heart is -- the place where I know the greater need me most.




I decided to stay because I have tamed the world of guidance and counseling to work best for my benefit and the people I work with and the children I work for.




I decided to stay because I have grown familiar with the colorful, yet mysterious world of children with special needs.







Yes, I stayed because one girl was crying in my cubicle last week. She said her mother have grown further away from her.







I stayed because another teenager fell in love and she is so confused with how she feels. Will she give in or not?







I stayed, yet for another girl who sobbed over her sentiments -- telling me her parents don't notice her efforts in dancing and just wanted to sleep and never to wake up.







I stayed because a young man needs me this year to listen to him while his soul is dying -- his very own parents as the criminal.







I decided to stay for a sixteen year old child with autism, who with all the wealth in the world needs an eye to watch over him when he sleeps.







I decided to stay for a nine year old girl who doesn't care how she looks like and reads the alphabet backwards.







I decided to stay for an eight year old boy with ADHD who feels so frustrated he wants to cut his fingers that they stop fidgeting altogether.







I committed myself to stay because I have tamed them. They have grown familiar with my voice, my touch, my scent and even with that little strictness in my aura.







I have accepted the challenge.







I have accepted them.




THEY ARE MY RESPONSIBILITY!










“Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, covering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks. But what we do for them is never wasted.”


Garrison, Keillor, 2000








This was my opening phrase in my acknowledgement page in my thesis... and so I live with it.


First Friday Mass Sermon: The Little Prince and The Fox

It was then that the fox appeared.


"Good morning" said the fox.



"Good morning" the little prince responded politely, although when he turned around he saw nothing.



"I am right here" the voice said, "under the apple tree."



"Who are you?" asked the little prince, and added, "You are very pretty to look at."



"I am a fox," the fox said.



"Come and play with me," proposed the little prince, "I am so unhappy."



"I cannot play with you," the fox said, "I am not tamed."



"Ah please excuse me," said the little prince. But after some thought, he added: "What does that mean--'tame'?"



"You do not live here," said the fox.



"What is it you are looking for?"



"I am looking for men," said the little prince.



"What does that mean--tame?"



"Men," said the fox, "they have guns, and they hunt. It is very disturbing. They also raise chickens. These are their only interests. Are you looking for chickens?"



"No," said the little prince. "I am looking for friends. What does that mean--tame?"



"It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. "It means to establish ties."



"To establish ties?"



"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world . . ."



"I am beginning to understand," said the little prince. "There is a flower . . . I think she has tamed me . . . "



"It is possible," said the fox. "On earth one sees all sorts of things."



"Oh, but this is not on the earth!" said the little prince.



The fox seemed perplexed, and very curious. "On another planet?"



"Yes."



"Are there hunters on that planet?"



"No."



"Ah, that is interesting! Are there chickens?"



"No."



"Nothing is perfect," sighed the fox. But he came back to his idea. "My life is very monotonous," he said. "I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All chickens are just alike, and all the men are just alike. And in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat . . . "



The fox gazed at the little prince, for a long time. "Please--tame me!" he said.



"I want to, very much," the little prince replied. "But I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand."



"One only understands the things that one tames," said the fox. "Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me . . . "



"What must I do, to tame you?” asked the little prince.



"You must be very patient," replied the fox. First you will sit down at a little distance from me--like that--in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day . . . "
The next day the little prince came back.



"It would have been better to come back at the same hour," said the fox. "If for example, you came at four o'clock in the afternoon, then at three o'clock I shall begin to be happy. I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o'clock, I shall be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is ready to greet you . . . One must observe the proper rites . . . "



"What is a rite?" asked the little prince.



"Those also are actions too often neglected," said the fox. "They are what make one day different from other days, one hour different from other hours. There is a rite, for example, among my hunters. Every Thursday they dance with the village girls. So Thursday is a wonderful day for me! I can take a walk as far as the vineyards. But if the hunters danced at just any time, every day would be like every other day, and I should never have any vacation at all."



So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near--



"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."



"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you . . . "



"Yes, that is so," said the fox.



"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince.



"Yes, that is so," said the fox.



"Then it has done you no good at all!"



"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields." And then he added: "Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. Then come back to say goodbye to me, and I will make you a present of a secret."



The little prince went away, to look again at the roses.



"You are not at all like my rose," he said. "As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made a friend, and now he is unique in all the world."
And the roses were very much embarrassed.



"You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on. "One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose."



And he went back to meet the fox. "Goodbye," he said. "Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."



"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.



"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.



"It is the time I have wasted for my rose---" said the little prince so he would be sure to remember.



"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose . . . "



"I am responsible for my rose," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.