Choices

When people ask me to define love, I say, "Love is like handing someone a gun, having them point it at your heart, and trusting them to never pull the trigger." (Sponge Bob)

When they ask me why I laugh at my mistakes and even write them with pride in my blogs, I say, "I'm not crazy. I just don't give a damn!" (Daffy Duck)

When one time I was conducting a group activity, a student asked what road sign I love the most, I said, "I like dead end signs. I think they're kind. They at least have the decency to let you know you're going nowhere…" (Bugs Bunny)

And when for the nth time a friend would ask me what do I get from writing, I'm not even sure if there are good old souls out there visiting my site, I just smile and say, "Kung gusto mong maging manunulat, eh di magsulat ka. Simple." (Bob Ong)

And last night when Eva said she wants to quit from her work because nobody believes in her, her boss got mad at her, she doesn't even have friends at her agency, and she's crying like hell, I said, "Either you stay to prove your worth or you quit and just show them you're a loser, you have to strive for your happiness." (MY original)

My CHOICES: I remained believing in love. I continued spicing up my mistakes and rewriting my life, accepting failure but keep on dreaming until words would fade into thin air.

Aug 11, 2013

Life in a Mirror

Why "Life in a Mirror"?
 
I started blogging the moment I learned how to blog. I thought, the best way how I could share what I know is through writing because then (and now, I am such not a good speaker), so I opted to just write my thoughts down.
 
But where do these thoughts come from? I read. I savor life. And thinking a lot is the offshoot. I am not an active child. I was more of the introverted type. And so after reading, most information just got stuck there. They have no way of going out. So mostly, I get to think about them ... a lot.
 
So I face these thoughts squarely, like your eyes looking straight back at you when you face the mirror. The reflection of my thoughts about the things I read and experience are poured down on blank sheets.
 
Then my days became busier. There was a time when I got hold of no book for over a year or two. But I hear a lot. I started experiencing life ... the kind of life so heavy to share. And so I think a lot about this life. Because the moment I cease to think, I cease to believe ... and hope and have faith to the One who brought me here.
 
Reflection with the right values helped me to be stronger despite the painful experiences of the past. I may have bled to death if I haven't had the courage to face life with no pretensions ... no lies.
 
And so I ask you the same question: Are you happy with what your life has to offer?
 
For one thing I have learned about life, happiness and lies -- They are intertwined.
 
Once you have not learned accepting life at face value, you begin building lies after lies after lies. Until you have been trapped in the loops and knots of your own lies. And you will never be happy.
 
Pretending starts within the self. Then you start lying to those important to you. Then to most people in general.
 
Pretension starts when you yourself cannot accept who you are -- your choices, your decisions. Any outside stimulus that reminds you of who you are, you tend to attack. You'd rather do this that put down your defenses for accepting your weaknesses is defeat for you. And you cannot afford to lose. And so you judge others as you have judged yourself. Nobody seems to be good enough for you.
 
And so the cycle goes on ...
 
You lie. You pretend. You defend yourself. You attack. You judge falsely. You talk ill about people. Because this is the only way to make you feel better off. But in reality, you're not ...
 
Because you failed to look into the MIRROR of LIFE.

Aug 4, 2013

Lack of Something

The distance from my entries is very alarming... Was I really this quiet for the last four years or so?
 
I couldn't imagine I was able to get by without writing (Oh well, writing my thoughts fall under a different category than writing my Lesson Guides, Progress Checks and Assessments. IEP reports included.)!!!
 
From the time I learned how to write, no matter how unintelligible my musings are, I write them down. Because Mama said, it's the only way I could improve on my hand-writing, which makes my prose even more -- let's be more apt, muddled.
 
Is it lack of inspiration?
 
Nah! I guess not. Because other than writing, teaching is my passion. And as an educator, I could find any topic at every nook in the room to write about. Including a broken pencil.
 
Is it lack of something smart to say?
 
I don't think so. My class is filled with witty kids. Asking me why pages of a book are non-living things, yet they get brittle and die.
 
Is it lack of time?
 
Oh well...