Life in a Mirror

Why "Life in a Mirror"?

 

I started blogging the moment I learned how to blog. I thought, the best way how I could share what I know is through writing because then (and now, I am such not a good speaker), so I opted to just write my thoughts down.

 

But where do these thoughts come from? I read. I savor life. And thinking a lot is the offshoot. I am not an active child. I was more of the introverted type. And so after reading, most information just got stuck there. They have no way of going out. So mostly, I get to think about them ... a lot.

 

So I face these thoughts squarely, like your eyes looking straight back at you when you face the mirror. The reflection of my thoughts about the things I read and experience are poured down on blank sheets.

 

Then my days became busier. There was a time when I got hold of no book for over a year or two. But I hear a lot. I started experiencing life ... the kind of life so heavy to share. And so I think a lot about this life. Because the moment I cease to think, I cease to believe ... and hope and have faith to the One who brought me here.

 

Reflection with the right values helped me to be stronger despite the painful experiences of the past. I may have bled to death if I haven't had the courage to face life with no pretensions ... no lies.

 

And so I ask you the same question: Are you happy with what your life has to offer?

 

For one thing I have learned about life, happiness and lies -- They are intertwined.

 

Once you have not learned accepting life at face value, you begin building lies after lies after lies. Until you have been trapped in the loops and knots of your own lies. And you will never be happy.

 

Pretending starts within the self. Then you start lying to those important to you. Then to most people in general.

 

Pretension starts when you yourself cannot accept who you are -- your choices, your decisions. Any outside stimulus that reminds you of who you are, you tend to attack. You'd rather do this that put down your defenses for accepting your weaknesses is defeat for you. And you cannot afford to lose. And so you judge others as you have judged yourself. Nobody seems to be good enough for you.

 

And so the cycle goes on ...

 

You lie. You pretend. You defend yourself. You attack. You judge falsely. You talk ill about people. Because this is the only way to make you feel better off. But in reality, you're not ...

 

Because you failed to look into the MIRROR of LIFE.

Sing Me Your Song Mommy

Sing me your song Mommy

your version of Brahms’ lullaby

embrace me tenderly

until with the birds I fly.

Sing me your song Mommy

your rendition of “I Love You Song”

even better than that of Barney

until the angels hum along.

Sing me your song Mommy

sing the song in your heart

I want to see you smile so sweetly

like clouds, a sugar-coated tart.

Sing me your song Mommy

sing me with daffodils in your ear

I will listen to you intently

like lilies kiss the water dear.

Sing me your song Mommy

let’s dance to its every tune

and in your arms you carry me

until darkness pleases the moon.

Sing me your song Mommy

let your music tug along dreamers

and fill our senses with the scent of a daisy

until the sun breaks our slumbers.

Happy Mother's Day to all great Moms out there! -- Moms who never stop giving even when they have given more than their cups could fill...

Greetings from the Josue family!

Reposted: CABAnata, July 3, 2007

The Prize of Parenting

Anastine Beatrice was first in St. John The Baptist Learning Center's Kinder 1 class of SY 2007-2008. She received a gold medal from the Diocese of La Union and six proficiency awards in Math, Science, Reading, Language, Filipino and as first honors. That makes us proud parents.

My family.

This is the prize of parenting. Kids who grow under your wings, for the meantime, that is. For when they soon would learn the art of flying and muster the wisdom of the universe, they shall explore on their own. You will just be there, savoring the fruits of your labor, from conception to child birth, from diapering to seeing their first steps and say those first words to sending them to school. It's easy to be called parents, but it takes much love and patience and understanding and a whole lot more to stand by the word: PARENTS!

A Teacher's Prayer

Loving God, our Father

We thank you for giving us a share

in the teaching ministry of Your Son, Jesus Christ.

Through Your Spirit dwelling in us,

strengthen us to carry out the service of love

with joy, perseverance and dedication.

Help us realize that our work has a place in Your purpose

so that we may go about it

with sense of responsibility and enthusiasm.

When results are disappointing

and we cannot see the expected outcome of our task

help us not to be discouraged;

Give us faith to find meaning in it all.

Father, in our desire for efficiency and competence,

help us to be patient

when things are slow to happen.

Give us an understanding heart

to respond to the cheerful ones,

the lonely and the frightened,

the difficult and the stubborn;

Let us reassure them of Your love,

through our gentleness and kindness.

Thus, by Your love transparent in our person,

may we be Your instruments

drawing our pupils and students into fullness of life,

and may we be their companions and co-missionaries

in transforming this world of love, hope and peace.

AMEN.

This is the prayer by all the Educators during this school year's Closing Program for Grade 6 pupils and Graduation of the IV year students last March 26 and 27, 2008 respectively in the academic institution I belong. I hope that through this prayer, I am able to share a part of my vocation to all of you who happen to drop by my site. For I believe that through the teaching ministry of Christ of which I am a part of, I can, in my own little words and ways make a difference in the lives of others.

To all Batch 2008 Graduates: CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Go... Build Communities of Love Through Servant Leadership!

TIME

I always complain for having the lack of time in doing the things I want to do, especially reading my favorite books. Most of my books are still on my shelf, with plastic cover and sealed with its tag on it. Those in the open are gathering dust each day. But some lucky ones are picked from the shelf once in a while and read inside the bus on my way to work and again inside the bus in the evening on my way home.

But pondering on that, I think my whining is unreasonable, because last night, while dusting my shelves, I saw only five books left unread out of the dozen books or so I bought and the Coelho's my brother bought starting last September. So I don't need to whine over not having the luxury of time. In fact, I have all the time in the world.

Now this is the picture of a watch I saw from an e-shop that I intend to buy as treat for myself for having kept myself busy yet gave myself much time to do what I really wanted to do -- reading books, studying and of course, bonding with my kids and family and friends. Hope I will be able to buy this before the year ends.

I realized that I don't need an add of another twenty-four hours in a day just to do what we want to do. If our heart is into finishing a task, we can find time, no matter how busy we assume we are. To include from my list of "have done", so far this is what I can think of:

1. I have finished three allied courses in four years time (one of which is my MA in Guidance and Counseling -- bagging the "Best Thesis" citation), including my MA in Special Education which I intend to finish until next year.

2. How did I do it?

a. I review for my exams inside the bus (it really helped plus my eyeglasses on).

b. I do my homeworks while eating my snacks and lunch at work.

c. I do my reports, my thesis included at eleven in the evening onwards, when my kids are sleeping and my dogs are snoring.

d. Finishing my thesis was tough, but I managed to squeeze it in by designing a program for my school (my place of work) as output, so the administrators welcomed my study with open arms.

3. I was able to counsel 100% of the kids under my care with follow-up to those who needed extra help. With this is the Career Pathing Program and the Developmental Program for children of OFW parent/s.

4. I made friends here and there. Re-discovered some like with that of Maricel, Tatah and Issa. I strengthened my bonds with most. And just an add, I have three batch of new-found friends -- my Special Ed class (Education for Deviates) with Miss Naoe, my Geometry class of seven with Dr. Gacayan and the CHED scholars in my Graph Theory class with Dr. Quiambao.

5. I maintained my being a Special Ed teacher after my counseling hours with Rob. Now, he is about to finish his third year in high school. One school year more and he is to graduate from senior high. Not to mention I started with him when he was in pre-school.

6. And most importantly, I was able to raise Beatrice with quantity and quality time. She is now five, will be recognized as first in her Kinder class at the end of this month. And of course, I gave birth to another girl, Gabrielle while finishing my thesis. Now she is one and a smart kid like her sister.

7. And in between, I am a wife to my Ronald for almost eight years now. I'm keeping my fingers crossed though as I'm writing this post that I have been able to provide him the warmth of love a wife could give her husband.

8. To give it a final touch, I am also a sister to my brother Jomar and to my siblings-in-law, a daughter to my mom-in-law, a grand-daughter to my grannies, and last but not the least, a child of God, my Creator, giving meaning to the life He has bestowed upon me; so that in the final bend of my TIME, He shall be proud of me.

Quote for the Day (from Coelho's site)

"We need to forget what we think we are, so that we can really become what we are."

This is my blessing this week! Just saw it today in Paulo Coelho's site. I have always wanted to follow my star... reach my dreams no matter how far it seems. Maybe, the things that I fear are not really what is unknown but I am afraid I cannot make it. This is what I see I am. Afraid. But I guess, I really just have to forget what I really feel that makes what I am so I can be who I really am.

Am I making any sense here?

Geeezzzz! I should be... or else...

The Moon Walks with Me

I shall never forget this same sight I had last night. I just forgot my cam at home which I ususally bring wherever I go. The fact is, I won't let this entry pass another day so I just copied a moon's picture from google images. Whoever had this picture posted, thank you so much.

This week was a tough week for me. I have to decide on a lot of things -- major career moves at that. But I know with the moon in sight, the silencing effect it brings to my thoughts and my senses, I shall forever be thankful of the giftedness of life, of silence and of the Moon that walks with me in the darkness of my night.

Before the weekend, I wanna praise the Creator who gave me such a wonderful gift.

Hope you do the same!!!

CABAnata 13: Geometric Postulates... Life in a Mirror of Figures

Last week, I was whining about being an alien in my Graph Theory class. Last Saturday, I felt not much alienated in my Geometry class even though they were talking about coplanar and collinear stuff. Maybe because I got interested in the postulates our professor was discussing. I found them a good topic for my blog.

Ain’t that nice?

Oh well, it was almost a month since I posted my blessings. Not because I can’t recognize the grace of the Lord pouring down on me but because I was busy whining. That’s too bad of me!

Now I realized my disgrace. I am turning my challenge into a blessing.

Like what I have said, I found Geometry a little like my Graph Theory class. The postulates were stated so inspiringly that I nearly clasp my hands and sigh, “Can’t wait to blog!!!”

But what are Geometric Postulates?

Well, postulates are statements accepted as true. There is no need for us to prove. It’s like a law in Science compared to that of a theory or a concept.

We have learned five postulates and here are they with my every realization attached herewith:

Postulate 1: Space contains at least four non-coplanar, non-collinear points. A plane contains at least three non-collinear points. A line contains at least two non-collinear points.

Realization: Each of us, human and animals and all of God’s creation belong to a space in this universe. God has set forth a plan, a scale unique for each one of us. We may not be alike, moreso, we have great variations, but four of us gathered all together can form a space worth a majestic view of kaleidoscope. Three of us can make a plane with equal beauty. Two of us may create a point we can call friendship; which of course may be our source of happiness and contentment and peace and love and everything nice.

Postulate 2: Two points are contained in one and only one line.

Realization: You and I, as we connect belong to one and the same wavelength. This is the energy that binds our hopes and dreams. Whatever that is, I believe in the magic of the cosmos.

Postulate 3: Three non-collinear points are contained in one and only one plane.

Realization: God has a plan. It is not true that it takes two to Tango. In life, I believe that there should be the mythical three so that every dream would come true. Who are these three? It should be You, I and God. Always making the Creator the center of our lives.

Postulate 4: If two points are contained in a plane, then the lines joining these points is contained in a plane.

Realization: This is a confirmation of the previous postulates. When you and I connect and God is with us, everything shall fall into place. It cannot be that when our intentions are good, our dreams will collapse alongside a simple snap of a finger, because we are inside God’s ordained plane.

Postulate 5: If two planes intersect, then their intersection is a line.

Realization: People are for people. People are for animals. People are for all of God’s creation. We don’t stand alone. We interact. We connect. We intersect. Thus, we all belong in one and only one line – God’s line, the Cosmos.

These are the wonders I have realized in my Math class.

Now, I need not whine but thank God for the new horizon He has opened up for me.

The challenge?

To write a blog after every Saturday class.

Geeeezzzz!!! I’m just kidding.

My challenge is to accept the challenge and make every shadowy figure come in colorful hues of graphical representations for life is a compilation of mysterious but beautiful (and worth thanking) figures – literally and figuratively speaking.

Have a blessed week everyone!!!

Paulo Coelho Visited My Site!!!!

Dear Paulo,

Thank you for posting my entry in your site. I’m overwhelmed. Your books are really sources of inspiration to many. Keep on writing.

But just a little correction if you permit me to, I think there is some mistake in the link to my site. I tried opening it and it’s the Global Game site that appears.

Thank you.

I have finished 8 of your books. I’m currently reading Veronika Decides to Die. I have 3 more to go. Hopefully by the end of this year, I have completed my list.

____________________________________________________________

God! I'm truly overwhelmed upon opening my site and there I saw Paulo's inspiring grin on my Recent Visitors Log List. Can you imagine that? I am but just a humble fan and yet, my idol visited my site and even posted my entry in his very own website! Goodness gracious.

Ah! Maybe tonight is my first night this week that I'm going to bed with a smile of contentment on my face. This week has been tough for me. In school. In my work. With my kids. A while back we brought Garielle to her pedia because her fever came and went. Then yesterday she had rashes. Dengue! That was the reality close shut to my face. But thank goodness, it is not. It was just a usual tigdas hangin.

Hey! Hey! Hey! Who ever said I was no good to deserve some blessing!

Oh well, that reminded me. Can I make this my early edition for Blog Your Blessings Sunday?

Whoa! Too early for Sunday, eh!!!

Things I am thankful for:

I can’t wait until Sunday to blog my blessings. I just woke up this morning with a downpour of thoughts of things I should be thankful for. Well, if you’ve been reading through my blogs, there’s a side of me that’s slowly dying, of which I don’t know what! So I was just so happy that upon opening my eyes, my real eyes can now see through an array of what are worth thanking for. Let me enumerate:

1. For the alarm that disturbed my dreamless night. It means that I’m still alive. That this dying thing within me is not who I really am. Whatever that means! Whichever it is… there is still hope. And I am not backing out from the fight.

2. For my yet still weary and aching muscles for both working hard and lulling Gaby to sleep late last night while chanting over and over again, “Five little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Mommy called the doctor and the doctor said, No more little monkeys jumping on the bed! Four little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Mommy called the doctor and the doctor said, No more little monkeys jumping on the bed! Three little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Mommy called the doctor and the doctor said, No more little monkeys jumping on the bed! ……………” and so on until no monkey was left. It means I’m still capable of working hard for my family and I have kids to bring me joy in moments like these.

3. For my uniform that fit a little tighter than last month, snuggling a bit. It means there is more than just enough food to eat set on our table. There was never a day I have grown hungry or thirsty. I may not eat in expensive and glamorous restaurants but I am still able to eat. I think bagoong and talbos ng kamote did pretty well for last night’s dinner.

4. For the mobile phone load I ran out of. It means I have friends to text back to when they forward messages or text to just to keep in touch. That a peso is not important if it means maintaining friendships that have bloomed with time.

5. For the bed that needs fixing, windows that need dusting, and a house that needs cleaning. It means I have a home. It may not be a mansion with unslept rooms and untouched dining. Needless, it’s a home of a grandmother who grunts all day for back ache taking care of two snarling cubs but loves them anyway. A father who may not be in his tuxedo but only in his plain working clothes as he does the cooking and the laundry. A mother who may sometimes nag her husband but still a woman who holds her family closest to her being. And with two lovely girls who may bite each other and ran across the small house ground snarling one time and laughing the next time. Needless indeed, this is a home. And this is my home.

Ah! Tomorrow will be another day. And tomorrow, I will be with friends with the same struggle, much with the same dreams and thrust. Tomorrow, I will belong to a group of Special Educators. Tomorrow, I will spend a day with children with special needs. Tomorrow will be another learning experience. Tomorrow will either be another dying and living. I just hope, my evil will be defeated soon… as soon as when tomorrow comes.

Blog Your Blessings Sunday: A Special Nook

We at times sit at one corner alone, appreciating life as we see it through our eyes...

Suddenly, someone surprises us… shares that corner until it becomes the world.

Isn't that amazing?

Sometimes we are caught off guard by people who then were strangers from a far off land. We meet them. We become acquaintances. We learn to like them. We find some differences, yet we click. We laugh at the same corny jokes over and over again. We cry at the same old movies we have both watched but re-tell the story as if the other missed out the details. Sometimes we become so stupid raking some thoughts to spill, but in the end, we feel that silence becomes a unity of colors and sounds that fill-in the gap between us. Then we realize, we have found a friend in this then stranger.

The cycle never stops. In doesn't find an end. I met Armila. Then Teresa. The three of us ate some burgers at Mc Donald's. Then there was Myrna. Then Ate Arnila. Then Flor. The six of us ate pizza at Greenwich.

Then Teresa moved out. Then Armila. After a year, I moved in with Armila. Then we have found our home with some other people who became our friends. There was Ate Imelda, then Ate Marivel, Ate Daisy, Ate Glenda, Ate Nida and Ate Cathy. TheN Teresa found her way back to us. Then Flor moved in with us. After a year, Ate Arnila from another planet joined us. In the process, we lost contact of Myrna, but some more people came – Analyn, Marie, Ruby, Ate Chai, Ma'am Nora, Ate Rosabel, Ate Reynilda who came for a moment then left, Ate Alma and our new baby, Arleen. And who knows who else would find their way to our small nook. Now we eat a full bilao of pancit.

Yeah, I started in that small nook I thought was so beautiful for someone like me. After almost nine years, I woke up and found a colorful nook with unity of various hues and sounds. Geeezzz! Now I will have to get a more spacious place for all of us…

Blog Your Blessings Sunday: Tired, eh!

I'm a bit surprised to see myself infront of the mirror looking so awfully tired while packing my things at five today. The whole day was such a blur that I went on my counseling routine as I was chewing a gum. Kids can be soooooo squeezingly delicious sometimes. Teens? They have achieved my level of tolerance. Er... well, almost there. You see, when you're a counselor, you can't just yell even your damn client is pushing you to your let's say peak of no return... I mean anger spurts. But hey, I'm good at hiding my real emotions behind my tweetums-diddums smile that paints "I fully understand you, kid!"

Geeezzzzz!!! Patience-patience... P-A-T-I-E-N-C-E!!! My virtue? Hope it is. Because when work gets in you and being tired eats your system to bits, home is not a home but just some cheap motel to rest your body.

But to me, when I get my hands turn the knob to my home, I smell cinnamon rolls calming my senses. Bea hugs me and kisses me and massages my feet while Gaby turns over me with all the saliva all over my face when she showers me with butterfly kisses... I mean licks me like a pup and my hubby has cooked my favorite dinner, adobong okra! Hhmmmm... that'll make my day!

Tired, eh?

I'm tired no more...