Choices

When people ask me to define love, I say, "Love is like handing someone a gun, having them point it at your heart, and trusting them to never pull the trigger." (Sponge Bob)

When they ask me why I laugh at my mistakes and even write them with pride in my blogs, I say, "I'm not crazy. I just don't give a damn!" (Daffy Duck)

When one time I was conducting a group activity, a student asked what road sign I love the most, I said, "I like dead end signs. I think they're kind. They at least have the decency to let you know you're going nowhere…" (Bugs Bunny)

And when for the nth time a friend would ask me what do I get from writing, I'm not even sure if there are good old souls out there visiting my site, I just smile and say, "Kung gusto mong maging manunulat, eh di magsulat ka. Simple." (Bob Ong)

And last night when Eva said she wants to quit from her work because nobody believes in her, her boss got mad at her, she doesn't even have friends at her agency, and she's crying like hell, I said, "Either you stay to prove your worth or you quit and just show them you're a loser, you have to strive for your happiness." (MY original)

My CHOICES: I remained believing in love. I continued spicing up my mistakes and rewriting my life, accepting failure but keep on dreaming until words would fade into thin air.

May 24, 2008

Not just an ordinary nook!








This is my nook.



Nah-ah! This apple macbook is my dream laptop but unfortunately, I still don't have the penny for it. So just focus the camera a little further.



Yeah, that's it!








This is my REAL nook. And for me, this is not just an ordinary nook. A lot of good and not so good things happened at this side of our humble home.



This desktop was bought in 2002, more than a year after Ronald and I got married. It's a second hand stuff from my sister-in-law's officemate who was migrating somewhere else and he badly needed the money for that matter.



We too don't have the money to buy the stuff, but my mother-in-law has. She was about to buy a La Germania but opted not to because of our gyrations. I badly needed the set because I was planning to go back to school to continue my MA in Guidance and Counseling, and that time, too, I was bringing home a pile of paperworks each night.



Thanks to Nanay, I was able to have a computer while she lost her chance for her kitchen paraphernalia.



And so my story begins with my desktop.



My dream of becoming writer started to blossom with every tick-a-tack on this keyboard. Oh well, the original keyboard was already thrown in the stockroom because of overuse. The one I am using now is brand new. (Yeah, that's all I can afford... a PhP 200.00 worth of keyboard.)



I began to write.



Again...



It started with just a few lines. A few verses, until I came to realize I have already a ream of short bond paper at my disposal.



I tried reading them again. It was amazing -- It is as if opening a book and reading someone else's autobiography. I laughed at my silliness. I cried over my heartaches. I mumbled over my failures and shouted over some triumphs I consider an achievement.



I opened our family album. I saw captions under every snapshot -- capturing every fancy detail of my new life as Mrs. Ronald Josue. Then after two years of waiting, as mother to my first-born, Anastine Beatrice.



All of these, I did with my desktop.



Then came thesis writing in 2005 summer. I spent a whole night just staring blankly at my monitor. Not being able to think of a single sentence to start with my Situation Analysis. I got frustrated. Almost banging my head on my table.



After a couple of weeks of almost no sleep, I was done with my Chapters 1 through 3. I had my proposal defense in October and started data analysis with my SPSS by December. I was done with my Chapters 4 and 5 before February ended. I was printing a whole pack of 5 copies for my OREC when my monitor went blank. Then my printer stopped too at an instant. i almost collapsed. That day, I had no sleep. I only had a couple of bread without jam for breakfast and lunch. I asked myself, "So this is all I will have after a whole night's work?"



Ronald ran through the nearest computer shop, got my monitor trouble-shooted and bought me a new printer -- the cheapest in the market -- Php 2,000.00. And the printer luckily got me a Best Thesis citation in March.



And yes, I was then pregnant with my Gabrielle Yumi -- quite a brain, eh! Handling pressure with so much grace. Now I can't blame Gaby for having such a kind of temperament. (Well, this is another story!)



While pregnant and having have to rest from June to October (delivery month), I completed a whole e-book, my CABAnata and kept my mind working while completing my IVLE with UP.



Now, I have this site and about to complete another MA -- starting to write for my thesis again and this is what happened:



I had my CPU brought back to that computer shop and its motherboard be changed including its power supply. But hey, good riddance, at least now I am working with a 4GB memory compared to my old 128MB.



What an experience, right?



So ain't gonna blame me for loving my nook so much...



I bet, I will keep this nook even when a macbook would be there waving its glossy white skin over my almost dilapidated desktop!

2 comments:

SandyCarlson said...

That story is full of family love! Happy BYB Sunday.

lucythevaliant said...

How wonderful to have a space so full of memories!