Choices

When people ask me to define love, I say, "Love is like handing someone a gun, having them point it at your heart, and trusting them to never pull the trigger." (Sponge Bob)

When they ask me why I laugh at my mistakes and even write them with pride in my blogs, I say, "I'm not crazy. I just don't give a damn!" (Daffy Duck)

When one time I was conducting a group activity, a student asked what road sign I love the most, I said, "I like dead end signs. I think they're kind. They at least have the decency to let you know you're going nowhere…" (Bugs Bunny)

And when for the nth time a friend would ask me what do I get from writing, I'm not even sure if there are good old souls out there visiting my site, I just smile and say, "Kung gusto mong maging manunulat, eh di magsulat ka. Simple." (Bob Ong)

And last night when Eva said she wants to quit from her work because nobody believes in her, her boss got mad at her, she doesn't even have friends at her agency, and she's crying like hell, I said, "Either you stay to prove your worth or you quit and just show them you're a loser, you have to strive for your happiness." (MY original)

My CHOICES: I remained believing in love. I continued spicing up my mistakes and rewriting my life, accepting failure but keep on dreaming until words would fade into thin air.

Nov 9, 2007

Things I am thankful for:


I can’t wait until Sunday to blog my blessings. I just woke up this morning with a downpour of thoughts of things I should be thankful for. Well, if you’ve been reading through my blogs, there’s a side of me that’s slowly dying, of which I don’t know what! So I was just so happy that upon opening my eyes, my real eyes can now see through an array of what are worth thanking for. Let me enumerate:

1. For the alarm that disturbed my dreamless night. It means that I’m still alive. That this dying thing within me is not who I really am. Whatever that means! Whichever it is… there is still hope. And I am not backing out from the fight.

2. For my yet still weary and aching muscles for both working hard and lulling Gaby to sleep late last night while chanting over and over again, “Five little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Mommy called the doctor and the doctor said, No more little monkeys jumping on the bed! Four little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Mommy called the doctor and the doctor said, No more little monkeys jumping on the bed! Three little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Mommy called the doctor and the doctor said, No more little monkeys jumping on the bed! ……………” and so on until no monkey was left. It means I’m still capable of working hard for my family and I have kids to bring me joy in moments like these.

3. For my uniform that fit a little tighter than last month, snuggling a bit. It means there is more than just enough food to eat set on our table. There was never a day I have grown hungry or thirsty. I may not eat in expensive and glamorous restaurants but I am still able to eat. I think bagoong and talbos ng kamote did pretty well for last night’s dinner.

4. For the mobile phone load I ran out of. It means I have friends to text back to when they forward messages or text to just to keep in touch. That a peso is not important if it means maintaining friendships that have bloomed with time.

5. For the bed that needs fixing, windows that need dusting, and a house that needs cleaning. It means I have a home. It may not be a mansion with unslept rooms and untouched dining. Needless, it’s a home of a grandmother who grunts all day for back ache taking care of two snarling cubs but loves them anyway. A father who may not be in his tuxedo but only in his plain working clothes as he does the cooking and the laundry. A mother who may sometimes nag her husband but still a woman who holds her family closest to her being. And with two lovely girls who may bite each other and ran across the small house ground snarling one time and laughing the next time. Needless indeed, this is a home. And this is my home.


Ah! Tomorrow will be another day. And tomorrow, I will be with friends with the same struggle, much with the same dreams and thrust. Tomorrow, I will belong to a group of Special Educators. Tomorrow, I will spend a day with children with special needs. Tomorrow will be another learning experience. Tomorrow will either be another dying and living. I just hope, my evil will be defeated soon… as soon as when tomorrow comes.

1 comment:

Sandy Carlson said...

Oh, what a beautiful post. I am wondering how many peole would think of their extra weight as a blessing, even if it's just a little! Your post is a lesson in mindfulness. We have so much to be grateful for. Amen. Thanks for this, and happy BYB Sunday.