Choices

When people ask me to define love, I say, "Love is like handing someone a gun, having them point it at your heart, and trusting them to never pull the trigger." (Sponge Bob)

When they ask me why I laugh at my mistakes and even write them with pride in my blogs, I say, "I'm not crazy. I just don't give a damn!" (Daffy Duck)

When one time I was conducting a group activity, a student asked what road sign I love the most, I said, "I like dead end signs. I think they're kind. They at least have the decency to let you know you're going nowhere…" (Bugs Bunny)

And when for the nth time a friend would ask me what do I get from writing, I'm not even sure if there are good old souls out there visiting my site, I just smile and say, "Kung gusto mong maging manunulat, eh di magsulat ka. Simple." (Bob Ong)

And last night when Eva said she wants to quit from her work because nobody believes in her, her boss got mad at her, she doesn't even have friends at her agency, and she's crying like hell, I said, "Either you stay to prove your worth or you quit and just show them you're a loser, you have to strive for your happiness." (MY original)

My CHOICES: I remained believing in love. I continued spicing up my mistakes and rewriting my life, accepting failure but keep on dreaming until words would fade into thin air.

Oct 18, 2007

Six Men and A Lady (Continuation...)

God! I almost fell from my swivel when I heard my phone ring. I was as serious as hell writing an entry about my Father. I was about to explode in tears emoting when I clicked on my phone and heard the usual playful voice on the other end of the line. Well, even if I would be seemingly dead, I would recognize Aurora's voice.

I said, "Hey girl, wazzup!"

She demanded an explanation why I did not call her.

"The nerve!", I hissed. "What for?"

"So you could make a good continuation of that entry you posted about my love life. You kept it hanging for sometime, the readers might lose their ganacity to finish my story."

Argh!

"Hello! Then it's my fault?! You must have forgotten that you hanged up on me. It is I, my dear Aurora, whose credibility and reputation that was put to a hook. Just reminding you, in case you have forgotten."

Then she was laughing like some loony that I almost dropped the phone for fear that she must be really out of her mind because of Romualdo. Then I voiced out my fear. The more that she laughed. After some minutes though, her laughter faded (but it seemed echoing in my head).

"You sure, you wanna continue writing your entry about me?", she asked.

I hesitated for a moment, "Sure!", I declared after realizing that this might be a good indication that she is now ready to talk. At least I could have a share in helping her unload some burdens.

So she went on…

"After Romualdo, I met Honorio (with a silent "H" – mabantot pa rin). He was witty, fun to be with, like a combination of Renato and Diomedes but different."

I blurted, "Idiosyncratic!" (Sounds familiar, eh!)

She agreed with the term. Though I was thinking of another working definition (like Research) which means, I mean a shorter term for "Idiot!" (Ain't I creative?) I wish to include "savant" to the term because he is an expert – a real expert manipulator. Why? Read on, dudes!

Aurora simply ignored my side comment. She continued…

"Honorio is such a gentleman. He would feed me good sumptuous meals. He would buy me chocolates and roses and shower me with soft shy kisses."

"Shy? Uh! Really? A real idiot!", I unintentionally uttered in a frisky tone. But now, I don't know for whom the term applies to – is it with Honorio or Aurora?

Because as far as I know, the guy sucks! During those times she was courting Aurora, he was dating some other girls. He dated them in the same places where he brought her to feed those good sumptuous meals. He bought the same chocolates and roses for those others whom he claimed girl-friends. He was sweet to almost every girl in school. He was a gentleman so she admires, but I think he was a scheming wolf. In fact, he gave me that same chocolate and that same rose he bought for Aurora. In fact, he brought me to that same diner where he brought Aurora the following night. I knew it because I followed him after he dropped me off at my apartment. I knew it because he is the same guy my boardmate saw coming out from an apartelle early morning where a same promiscuous young woman lives. I bet my head off, both did not have a good night sleep.

Aurora knew those facts, but I wasn't sure she realized she was falling off his bait. Yes, she did. I just confirmed it, right now.

Honestly, I didn't know what to say because this guy was the reason why Aurora and I had a little misunderstanding that was blown into a full length disagreement that lasted almost a decade. She mistook me flirting with the idiot guy!

I reminded her. She was apologetic at first but we both felt the rush of laughter at the incident. Those were our childish foolishness. Damn the man! Really… damn him!

Guy number five is Liaracious. Sounds delicious, eh. Indeed he is yummy as Aurora claimed he is. But like Honorio, Ejercito (Irap ba? Liar nga!) is also an expert – expert liar. Sometimes he believes in his lies as his reality that when you try to check and balance his universe, you become the criminal. Duh!

Next guy, please!!!

But Aurora seem not to hear me. She persisted.

"Don't be so hard on the guy, girl. I know he just loved me so much that's why he made up those stories to impress me, my family and other people. He is afraid to lose me because he always tells me I am his life. And that he would die if we would not end up together."

"And you believed him?", I snapped (the real villain that I am), "Aren't you still convinced that the guy has some personality problem? He thinks the whole world admires him. He even thinks I liked him."

"Isn't it true?"

"Aurora!"

"Okay, well. In some ways…"

"In some ways what? You believe me but in some ways you don't. Is that it? You too are crazy. Don't tell me you're still in love with the guy."

"Hell, no!!!", she almost broke my eardrum with that. "I mean, of course, I did love him. I actually realized that after some time. Even when the moon is round and I feel a little chill he might struck me with his pocket knife each time. Uh! I still loved the guy."

"Now the real lunatic is talking."

Aurora giggled. "I think I'm ready with guy number six."

"So you love him?"

"Sort of… I mean, I almost kinda fell for him."

I gave her my silence.

"Okay! Okay! I'm deeply in love with the guy. I think this is what they call real love."

Again, my silence.

"Fine. I know this is wrong. All of my relationships are wrong. The more that this is wrong. I mean, Husbandtolitis is pretty much like the others…"

I burst out laughing with the name she branded guy number six. It sounds like some kind of bacterial infection.

Aurora agreed. "He really is like an infection consuming my system."

"God, you're serious."

"Yes I am. But I know this would lead me nowhere."

"Like the others."

"Yeah, like the others."

Now, it was Aurora's turn to be silent.

"Are you still on the line?"

"Yeah."

Again… silence.

"Maria?"

"Yeah."

"I think tomorrow I'm going to Ruth's house. Can you come with me?"

A little doubt embraced me. But God knows I felt a tinge of hope. And hesitation. "Why?"

"It's time for me to settle things with my wife… once and for all."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i had been using the word ganacity since i was in elementary, until now that i found out it's not in the dictionary. isn't that funny? how did you know about the word?

-jeffogi_1289@yahoo.com